Yellow Daffodil

When planning my mom's funeral this past summer, I remember my sister asking me what mom's favorite flower was, and at the time, I went blank. I knew that I knew what it was, but just couldn't remember. I first, jokingly, said fake flowers----which isn't totally incorrect! Then I remember my mom saying her dad's favorite flower was also her favorite flower too. But just couldn't remember what my mom had said exactly.  After all these months, last night I finally remembered. And I don't even know what triggered it. But my mom told me in a car ride after she picked me up from my grandma Peggy's, that her favorite flower was a yellow daffodil. I don't remember what started that conversation, but I remember it clear as day now. I hope little memories like these start to come back. And I will most definitely be writing about them so I hopefully never forget again.

The past months I have been forgetting a lot about my mom. My memories were stained with my last image of her, and that morning in the ER, and just a combination of unfortunate events. But the past 3 nights my mom has came to me every single night in my dreams. And as crazy as that sounds, it's been exactly what I needed. I refuse to let my mom's memory disappear. I also refuse to let anyone taint my memories of her. She was my idol. My best friend. My go-to person for anything and everything. She was my person. And forever will be on a pedestal in my eyes. 

I think of you every hour, of every day Mom. You are loved and missed by so many still. You would be so proud of all your grandkids. And I hope, I still am making you proud. I can't wait to see you again someday. With love, P.