This is the time of the year when Joe and I lost Baby Bruce (2 years ago). It seems to be the one time of the year that I get very hormonal, sad, depressed, and my anxiety is at an all-time high. Losing our baby, and delivering in our home, was the most tragic and heartbreaking event Joe and I have ever had to go through. There are times where we both have breakdowns about it and just question God as to "why?" Why us? I do have to be honest, Joe has been my rock through this all. And I am not ignorant in the fact that we are the only couple to ever lose a baby. However, I was ignorant in the fact that I never thought it would happen to me. I had a plan. That plan was getting married, teaching 7th grade math, and having four healthy BOYS. Having a miscarriage was not supposed to happen to me. I was not prepared for that (but I realize no one ever is). It was hard on us emotionally, and it was hard on our marriage. There is no doubt that Joe has been the one that kept us strong through all of it.
So Beau and Baine, there will be times where your relationships will hit a bump, or feel like you have hit rock bottom. Here is my advice to you: please follow in your father's footsteps. Never give up on the one you love. Never stop "dating" your partner. Even after you are married. Still court them, romance them, and make each other feel special. Your father does a MUCH better job at this than me. No marriage is perfect. And if anyone tells you theirs is, most likely their marriage is terrible and they are putting on an act. Relationships are hard work, and marriage is even harder work. But it is so worth it to be with the one you love. When you make a commitment, you are committing to be by their side for the good and the bad times. It is overcoming the bad times that will make your marriage so much stronger.
This week, Joe did one of typical acts of romance that makes me realize "gosh, what did I do to deserve this man?". I have been sad this week and just stressing out about the most ridiculous things ever. After I was done teaching summer school on Wednesday, I came out to my car to find a beautiful bouquet of flowers and an envelope right next to it. The envelope said "I noticed you were running out of flowers". Inside was a letter that said "something to look forward to". It was a typed out itinerary of a romantic weekend away for the two of us. Going to our favorite restaurant where we celebrated our engagement and just having quality time together. I was speechless at this. Like I said, I had been sad and moody all week, and definitely did not deserve this surprise at all. If anything, I should have been doing this for Joe as an apology for being so moody. Joe is the one that always brings us back to "dating" and keeping the romance alive. This is one of the many reasons why I am so lucky to have him as my husband.
Beau and Baine, be sure to do this to your wives. Do not just be romantic when dating, or when times are happy; be romantic when times are tough and when you are married too. Make sure you always let each other know how blessed you are in your marriage, and how fortunate you are to have one another. Do not take each other for granted in your relationship. Truly treat each day as if it were your last day with each other. And once again, always follow in your father's footsteps. He has laid out a perfect example of what I hope you boys become when you are married.
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