Yesterday, I was allowed to take the kids out to my mom's to swim. It was an overwhelming feeling to be honest. The last time I had been at my mom's was Christmas Day, so going six months without even driving out towards her direction was emotional. This should be my normal, daily routine this summer. I should be driving out everyday, rushing to have lunch with my mom by the pool. Have my mom catch me up on what's the latest on Young and the Restless. Listen to her rant about politics. And just relax all afternoon with her. But, at the same time, I was very happy to see my boys playing at Nana's and just making themselves right at home. That's how it should be, and that's how my mom would want it. Several things have changed by the pool since last summer, so it threw me off trying to figure out what it was, but just a few trees dying or removed. It was sad to see my mom's favorite oriental tree had died. I guess that's how life works though. Life has to come to an end at some point.
The boys started right where they left off it seemed. Grabbing their toys, rough housing in the pool, going down the slide and off the board, all the things that make them happy. Which, at the end of the day, makes me eternally happy to see my children smile. I am trying to move forward with life, slowly and one day at a time. Things are not better, and most definitely are not easier. I know I am at a point where I am fighting this battle alone. But I have three reasons to overcome it all and be the best I can be: Beau, Baine and Piper Collins. I refuse to let my heartache and sadness keep them from having a summer of fun memories and happiness. So hopefully yesterday was the start of new memories at my mom's this summer.
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