Signs From HER

 

While I was sitting in the crowd at the state volleyball tournament, my watch/phone went off saying "Mom" was calling me. My heart stopped. I froze. My friend sitting next to me said I turned ghostly white and instantly asked if I was okay. In a matter of probably 2 seconds (which felt more like 20 minutes) I had a rush of emotions overtake my body. I have been missing my mom so much the last several months. And I had been praying for a sign. And literally, I had her name come all across my phone. I didn't answer because I think I was in so much shock I didn't know what to do. Then, as I'm sitting down trying to quickly process it all and put the pieces together of why she would be calling, she texted me asking "are you watching the game". 

As I type this up, I am weeping to reliving the moment. My mom would have loved to have gone to the state volleyball tournament with me. Just like she would have loved going to state for the boys basketball a few years ago. She is missing out on everything---more like I am missing out on everything with her. 

Once the text came through, I messaged back saying "yes, are you?". Then I realized, one of my former volleyball players and students, now has my mom's phone number as her own. 

I didn't feel sad that someone else has her number---the girl who now has my mom's number is so sweet and I selfishly love knowing that a sweet soul is now carrying on that 1477 number. When the texts came through, it was a reminder of how I would always still text my mom, even after she passed. I kept her number for a couple of years, but it was time to let it go and let that chapter close. 

I fully believe in signs and that my mom's spirit is always with me. Do I think it was a coincidence that I had been praying for a sign from my mom, and then one of my volleyball girls called me? No. That was my mom for sure. Letting me know she's here. She's listening to me. She hears my prayers. She sees me weeping. She see's me happy. She sees it all. I know she does. It gives me faith and hope that we will one day be reunited again. Until that day, I will forever weep for her and miss her. 

Thank you, Mom, for keeping my faith alive. I miss you just as much as I did 4 years ago. 

I love you to Heave and back and back, 

P