Family Church Night at Autumn Acres

Still Missing Her

Last night was a very hard and sad night in our house. It started off great at the Homecoming parade up town, then eating out. But as soon as we got home, Beau broke down in tears and cried for which seemed like hours (but it was only about 20ish minutes). I have been trying my best to not talk about my mom to anyone anymore, only because I feel like I'm the only one left still not being able to get over mourning her. I am still "stuck" I feel. So, in return, I try not to talk about her that much at home either because I still get pretty emotional. Well I clearly need to stop that. Beau was so upset last night missing Nana. He just cried and cried and neither Joe or I could console him. I don't even know what triggered it. He asked to look at her pictures and videos I have saved on my phone. And he just loves the video I made of Piper's 1 year because it has him and Nana in it together. Then, Beau became more upset because once he heard Nana's voice, he cried harder saying "I forgot what she sounded like". That's where I lost it. And that was what I have been fearing for Beau and Baine. I have been worried and sad that they would forget her, forget her smile, her smell, her voice, and that amazing laugh. But they are little, so that's probably expected. Beau did not take well to that. He was always close to my mom, and told me for the first time last night "it's not fair she's not here". He then told me "I wish Nana would have been able to be in the hospital with me". That also crushed me. When Beau was in the hospital, the day of his surgery there was a large monarch butterfly that kept flying around his window for a few hours (totally serious about this). I told Beau that for sure was Nana looking after him and she is part of the reason why he was so strong and brave.

We are missing you so much still, mom. Life is still so hard without you. I have stopped calling you everyday. I know you won't be there to answer. But I refuse to turn your phone off just in case there is a day when your phone decides to send me a text again like it did last fall (weirdest and best sign ever). I have not been able to fill the void I have with you no longer here for me. You haven't been giving me any signs lately. And you haven't been in my dreams for awhile. Please come back. Beau and I miss you so much. We both could use some comfort and signs from you please.

Daddy Daycare

It's that time of the year when Joe is on full Daddy mode since I am gone most mornings/evenings with volleyball and meetings for school. Joe has been amazing with keeping up with the kiddos, especially since I was sick too. Taking them to the park, outside to play, having full duty of cooking/bath time etc, it's been amazing! He even does Piper's hair on his own...with matching bows ;) Someone has been trained well :)

Turning 30

Well, it's official, I am no longer in my 20's. I really thought turning 30 would make me feel different, almost more mature maybe? Not the case. (Maybe I'm just that immature ;). Looking back on my 20's, I hit all of my big milestones in my life so far in my 20's. Graduated college, studied abroad, got married, had all of my children, earned my Master's + degree, and then obviously had my hardest moment in my life with my mom. In that short 10 year time frame, I have completely changed (which we all do anyways). There is no way I would have been able to accomplish all of that without an amazing support system of family and friends. So here's to the 30's! I keep telling Joe that "this is my year, it's going to be the best year yet!". However, I think God laughed a little when I said that out loud because I was sick with pneumonia for 3 weeks and then Beau broke his arm...so maybe 2019 is my year?? haha. Now that I know what my best and worst times look like, I hope and pray that only great things happen in this next decade. Cheers to being 30!

Beau's Broken Arm

Well, it's official, we have our first broken bone in the Pierson household. Wednesday night after we got home from mini-putt, Beau and Baine wanted to go outside and play for a little bit since it was so nice out. So I put Piper to bed and went to lay down (since I was still sick), and Joe took the boys out to play with the neighbors. About 15 minutes later I get a phone call from Joe saying "Hospital. NOW!" I went running outside to find Joe running back to our yard with Beau in his arms, and Beau's left arm is just dangling like over cooked spaghetti. It looked dislocated for sure. But Beau wasn't crying at all, so I didn't think it was broken or anything severe. Joe quickly put Beau in my car and I rushed Beau to Pella ER. As soon as we had Beau checked in, they did an x-ray and immediately told us his humerus was snapped in half. He needed surgery ASAP and Pella couldn't do it. So to keep Beau's pain under control and to monitor him, they sent Beau (and me with him) up to Mercy in Des Moines by ambulance. I was incredibly nervous for Beau, but he was so brave and strong and didn't even seem scared. At this point, he still hadn't cried! When we got to Mercy, they had a surgeon come in and had to reduce his bones. Which basically means they had to put Beau under and snap his bone back into place before they could do surgery, because it was too far out. Beau was able to sleep a little before the next morning (it was almost 2 am by the time we were checked into a room). The next day, Beau had to have surgery by Dr. Farber. As soon as Beau heard the words surgery, that's when his tears came for the very first time. He was very scared and nervous and kept talking about Nana. My heart was shattered and it took every once in me to hold it together and not let Beau see me upset. But with many prayers and support and an amazing surgical team, Beau had a successful surgery. They put 3 pins in his arm and is currently in a splint. Next week Beau will go to get a cast put on, since they couldn't right away due to the swelling. I am beyond proud of Beau with how brave and strong he was. He has yet to complain and is already adjusting to doing things with one-hand. I pray for a fast recovery and that his elbow will heal appropriately.

Watching a movie in the ambulance